Wednesday, June 15, 2011

freeing myself and getting my creativity flowing...


I've always considered myself a creative person weather it's using old stuff and re-purposing or drawing, or painting or sewing... I'm not saying it's always good but I enjoy the process.  It relieves my stress and gives me a sense of accomplishment.


This summer I am taking a vow to bring my creativity to the next level.  I've sort of always done what I think someone else will like.  I've never really given myself the permission or freedom to just create and love it.


So many times I start making something and think this is really hokey, this looks home made.  Well isn't it?!  I'm putting all that aside now.  I'm taking more pictures for inspiration and not worrying about how much room on my computer they take up on my already full hard drive.  I can always burn it on a cd or load on my external hard drive and I will do it!


One of my reasons for thinking like this is stepping back and taking a look at my girls.  My how kids change your life right down to your deepest and innermost feelings, ideas and thoughts!  I see them creating a picture and I know what else it should have in it but if I tell them and they do it is it them being creative or following what makes me happy...


Everything I do to some extent is done for someone else.  Cleaning my house... is done extra thoroughly when someone is coming over.  I see my house through someone else's eyes and it seems so dirty.  But when I go to someone's house I'm not looking for cobwebs or dust on the trim I'm enjoying their company.


Creatively, when I'm sewing a new bag or project I think what would someone like for fabrics, what would the masses pick?  Is that being creative?  Not to me, not anymore.  I should be using the fabrics and notions I love.  I worry if someone will tell me I made a hideous bag and really so what if they do and so what if it is!  Fear of rejection I guess, we all have it.


At a home party a couple weeks ago the rejection did happen.  A very takative woman loved the idea of our business and what we do.  She was very enthusiastic and telling us she was going to have a party and invite lots of people.  She was going to promote us and on and on - just loved our stuff.  Except after all that she noticed a bag and said, "That is horrible what are you thinking when you make a bag like that?  That is the worst sample of a bag.  Make sure you don't bring that to my party."  No lie those are exact words she used and more.  Never in my whole creative life has anyone attacked something I made like that.  Immediately I thought, "I liked this woman up until now."  And almost immediately after that I felt a certain weight lifted.  It's been done.  Someone has officially said they did not like one of my creations in font of my face and in front of a room of people.  But it was not as bad as I ever imagined it could be and I laughed it off.  Sincerely laughed it off.  I know the bag is not the best.  It's not really something I would ever see in a store and say I love that and buy it.  But I made it because I thought someone would like it and I had the fabric to use up.  Said bag is below...


So with all that I'm in a point in my life where I want to create what I love.  I love bright colors!  Bold patterns, cutesy patterns, curvy patterns.  I love to match textures and just be different sometimes.   I'm thinking of doing inspiration posts occasionally.  Just some pictures of things I love.  We'll see what the year brings in my creativity.  I certainly can't wait to see!

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